As some of you no doubt saw these past few days on my Twitter feed, my grandmother passed away on Friday after a massive stroke.  I still don’t know what to think or do, even after her memorial service last night.

The biggest shock for me was the fact that my grandparents visited over Christmas and all was well.  Nothing really hinted at the future.

But what I really want to say is how fragile and precious this life is.  That we can be fine one minute and gone the next.  I think we forget that in our day-to-day stuff.

And also how utterly unfair and cruel death is.  I haven’t experienced many family members passing away yet.  But I believe God made us to be with one another forever, and every time someone leaves this world I’m angry and upset.  I don’t want to say goodbye, even if I know that we will be together again in Heaven, because I shouldn’t have to.  People for whom we care about that deeply should be with us, not gone.  And the only explanation I can find is that we were not made to say goodbye.

So, I don’t know if there is a point to this post.  Today is just an outpouring of my many emotions from this weekend.  Just never take for granted this fragile life.

[ Photo by Son of Groucho ]

Just wanted to tell everyone merry Christmas from me!

Hope your holidays are merry and bright, as the song says.

Enjoy your (hopefully) off time from work and enjoy your family and friends.  And thank God for his blessings and love.

[ Photo from jerry7171 ]

For my readers, I’ve been very slack on my posting recently.  It’s been 2 months since I posted last.  That’s too long.

In any case, I think my blogging hiatus was a little needed for me, if a little abrupt.  I’ve been working at a new job, coding new themes on the side, and playing like crazy at my church’s Sunday night service.  No excuses, but I’ve felt very busy.

As a New Year’s resolution, I guess, I’m going to try and post at least once a week.  Also, I’ll probably be doing a redesign on this blog.  I’ve been learning a ton about web design and development and I feel like it’s time for a new look.  If you’ve got some things you like or hate about this look, leave a comment; I’m always looking for a little feedback.

‘Till next time.

One of my favorite parables is the story of the prodigal son.

The story goes like this: A father had two sons.  The younger was, well, young and thought he knew better.  He wanted his inheritance, and his father gave it to him.  He went away, blew all of the money on wine, women, and song, and ended up in the most degrading place he could think of, fighting not to starve.

Then something great happens.  The words in the Bible say that “…he came to himself…”.*  We’ll be back here in a second.

After this, the son realizes that even his dad’s servants were better off, and that he’d go home and beg to be a servant.  When he gets home, his father runs to meet him and welcomes his lost son back into the family, not as a servant, but as a son.  (There’s a bit more, so go read it in Luke 15).

As I emphasized before, there’s a huge turning point in this story.  The son comes to himself.  Meaning he comes back from his rebellious stage to the truth.  The words also imply that something happened inside the son.  They imply there is some point that we should all be at, and we can get away from, but we must choose to head towards.

This is important.  God will let us run away from Him.  He will always be there, but He won’t force you to stay.  It’s a choice.  And you and I choose.  When the son “came to himself” he chose to go back.  It’s subtle.  We control our direction.  We can either go away from God, or go toward Him.

So, if we’re away from God, we must make the choice to go back.  If we are near Him, we must make the choice to stay.

It’s all about coming to myself.

* The ESV and the KJV say “came to himself” and the NIV says “came to his senses”.  Same idea.

[ Image by h.koppdelaney ]

Two great apps that I’ve found recently are iSlayer’s iStat programs.

These little apps are basically a window into your Mac’s inner workings.

The iStat Pro is a dashboard widget that displays all sorts of good information about how your Mac is running.  Anything from RAM usage, to Drive stats, to temperature of components, to fan speed are all at your disposal.  The units are dragable to any most any order you’d like.  Also the skin has a few different colors so you can change to taste.

The iStat Menus contain the exact same information but in your OS X menubar.  The advantage over iStat Pro is the always available visual readouts.  (Yes, that one click to open the dashboard makes a difference!)  You can customize the individual icons to contain more or less visual info and you can (by the order in which you activate them) dictate their position in the menubar.  Also, the colors can be tweaked.

They work well together too.  I use the menus for “critical” – or at least what I call critical – info.  RAM, drives, network usage, and CPU usage are all just a glance away.  I can then open up the widget for other info – like temps, fan speed, uptime, and power stats – that I don’t need in front of me.

In any case, these apps are small and fairly light, and can help troubleshoot if you need some quick info.  (Example: Why is my fan always running!  Oh!  It’s some malfunctioning program!  I’ll fix that!)  Hopefully, you can find good uses for these two programs!

Do you have any apps to recommend?

So, what happens when you are in the midst of a struggle?

You do all you can.  You fight for it.

This can be said of any struggle really.  At least any struggle that truly matters.  (Figuring out the difference between important ones and unimportant ones is another matter)

When the job is on the line, you do whatever it takes to make it work.  When a life is at stake, you do all you can.  When you see something that needs to be changed, you do all you can.

As someone once told me, “Just take the next step.  Do the next thing.”  You may not know where you are going.  But you can see where you’ve been and where God looks like He’s taking you.  Go that way.  Move towards that.  Keep getting better at your craft.  Keep refining yourself.  Even when the road looks like a dead end, there is something you can do.  Sometimes that something is to wait, but there is always something.

Go forward with confidence, and go with God.  He can tell you where to go, but He doesn’t make you do it.

Time to step up.

[ Image by rbrwr ]

One thing I’ve been realizing lately is that awareness by itself is not enough.

It is not sufficient to just be aware of a problem.  If I am aware that I have cancer and yet do nothing to kill and destroy it, the cancer will still kill me.  Only when I take action against the cancer does it ever go away.

Raising awareness is good.  Knowing your enemy is good.  These things will prepare you for the battle.

But there is still a battle.

As it says in a song I like, “How can you expect to win this war if you’re too afraid to fight.”  And the fight will be hard, but it is better than not fighting at all.

Be aware.  But also take right action.

[ Image by mendhak ]

Sad fact: leaders in the church don’t always get fed.

Who leads worship leaders into worship?  Who preaches to and teaches the pastors and teachers?  Who mentors the mentors?

Burnout is a very bad thing.  But we too often do so much for the sake of the kingdom that we forget to rest and be filled.  God created the entire universe and He still got a day of rest in there!  There’s a reason.

Leaders, don’t be leading so often that you forget to be filled by God or forget to learn from other leaders.  No one can do it all by themselves.  Look for new perspectives or better methods from other leaders.  Take a day to sit and talk with God, or just to enjoy the day with your loved ones.

This isn’t to say that you should neglect responsibilities, but be sure you don’t overdo it.

Balance, my friend.  Balance.

[ Image by a4gpa ]

I’ve been finding some cool space art online and this one I decided to use for my desktop.  I love science fiction scenes, and have ever since Star Wars caught my attention when I was a kid.

Found anything cool for your desktop image?

[ Image can be found here. ]

Sometimes the way forward is just that; forward.  Sometimes the next thing you need to do is the thing that you should have been doing all along.  Most times, we know where the next step is, we just don’t want to take it.  We feel like we can’t, or aren’t allowed, or shouldn’t.  We just need to start walking in that direction.

I play music.  It’s something I’ve loved since I was in grade school.  I’ve played in bands at church before, but recently I haven’t been playing.

Here’s the thing: I have been given a talent from God to play music.  It’s something that I am passionate about, and I love playing music.  But lately I haven’t been using my gifts.

Now, for a time, taking a break is fine.  But to not use the gifts God has given you is bad.  You lose something about yourself when you don’t use your gifts.

This past month, I started using my gifts again by getting involved in a new band at my church.  And it feels great!  I don’t know why I waited so long to get back into playing.

So here’s the point.  You all have talents and gifts from God that you can use.  Are you using them?  You can’t keep your gifts and talents to yourself and stay whole.  You have gifts and talents for a reason.

Move towards using them.  Move forward with your task.  Take the next step.

[ Image by carnavalet ]